The Saga of the Violator

When I first went to Dr. Guiliano's office to get her approval for my violation of a social norm, I was very proud of myself for coming up with such a cool idea. But when I walked into Dr. D's office I could've cursed myself and my ideas.

I walked into her office and she turned from her desk and saw me and greeted me warmly with a, “Hi, Marcos!”

I, almost simultaneously, said, “Hi, Paula!”

I wish I could've remembered her facial expressions or something. But I think that I was too busy engaging in strategic self-presentation, where I was trying to influence how Dr. D. thought of me, specifically by acting really excited about my Social Psychology grade and by talking really fast (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2008) . I was trying to make it seem as if it was the most natural thing in the world to call a professor by her first name when she had never said or implied that it was okay.

Just to make sure that I did it right, soon I dropped the bomb again:

“And I looked at the paper and saw the grade, and I thought to myself, 'I've got to go tell Paula!'”

Dr. D. was smiling and as excited as I was, or so she seemed. I took it as far as saying goodbye to her and walking out of her office for a few seconds, before coming back-

“Okay, before I let you go, I have to ask you a few questions,” I said as I came back into her office.

She admitted to being taken aback, but a couple factors helped her take it all in tow (I hadn't noticed any difference in her behavior or anything). First, I had had Dr. D. for three classes, and we periodically talked about things that were not class-related, like politics and so forth, so the fact that she knew me well was important. She said that if it had been an advisee she had only met once or twice it would've been a different story. Secondly, she made a situational attribution for my behavior, where she explained my behavior in terms of the situation instead of a personal trait, in this case- the fact that I was so excited about my test grade (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2008). In my excitement I had forgotten the social propriety of the professor-student relationship.

This social norm where a student shows respect to the professor by calling them either 'professor' or more preferably, 'Dr. Something', is an implicit rule in our society. Specifically, it is understood that unless a professor says otherwise, one of these more formal names need be utilized. Calling a professor by his or her first name without being invited to do so can be seen as inappropriate, audacious, or arrogant.

I don't think I could have done this with too many professors. I chose Dr. D. because I didn't have a class with her this semester and because I knew her well, two factors which would make the first time I violated the norm easier.

The second time I violated this norm, it was going to be in the middle of a class discussion, in my philosophy class, with Dr. Alejandro DeAcosta. I was particularly anxious about this because I didn't know DeAcosta as well as Dr. D., but I knew enough that he wouldn't care, so that made it doable. In fact, my anxiety over how DeAcosta would take it was nothing compared to my worries about how my classmates would take it. I was afraid of a combination of the trait negativity bias and some belief perseverance, where even if I explained to the class afterward that it was just for a class assignment, that they would continue to think me a prick, and since most don't know me at all in that class, that this negative experience would weigh unfairly heavy in their minds (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2008), (Skowronski & Carlston, 1989).

To account for my self-awareness and strategic self-presentation during the violation of the social norm, I asked someone I knew, let's call her Jen, to notice people's facial expressions and body language during class, or their nonverbal behavior (Duval & Wicklund, 1972), (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2008). I knew that I would be too busy abstracting from my mental state of self-awareness by dropping the 'first name bomb while I was asking DeAcosta questions and pretending to scrutinize a certain passage in our book. Jen thought my assignment was to look at facial expressions and body language, and said she wouldn't do the work I was too lazy to do, but I explained that this was not my assignment. She asked what was. “You'll know when I do it.” This gave her a rough idea of what was to happen, I was going to do something unexpected, there would be some kind of reaction. We were now sharing a secret, and it reminded me of that article we read where people feel more attracted to each other or closer after sharing a secret, but I was too lazy to go and look that up so I won't mention it further or I'll need a citation, if I don't already.

What I didn't expect was for DeAcosta to get into class so early. He usually comes after over half the class is in their seats. He came when it was still only Jen and I, so said to myself, 'Hey, why now?'

“Hey Alex, we didn't need to read to any particular designated page for today, right?” He hadn't outlined how to split up the reading over the two class periods we would be covering this particular book in class.

He took it in tow and answered my question, no noticeable reaction. I breathed a sigh of relief. But after students started piling in it was decided that today we would all sit in a circle on the floor in the center of the classroom. So now we were in a more intimate discussion setting- perhaps enough to excuse another 'Alex' bomb?

“Hey Alex, I was wondering if we could go to page 35 for a bit, I was having some trouble with this counterpower concept....”

I didn't look up until after I had read from the passage and DeAcosta had begun talking about it. He actually got up and went to the blackboard and started writing some things to help us better understand the concepts. Interestingly, when he sat back down, he was further away from his books and notes, and from being inside the circle, than he had been before. It could've just been coincidence, of course, he said it wasn't anything conscious.

Anyway, before I could look up Jen nudged me and I looked toward her. She moved her notebook to me and pointed at the top of the page- 'Three people looked stunned and confused, the rest didn't notice.”

I looked around and saw people smiling at me, and I couldn't help but smile back because it was one of those, “Oh, you so sneaky, huh?” smiles and I felt a little embarrassed.

I'm proud that I didn't fall prey to the spotlight effect though (Gilovich, Medvec, & Savitsky, 1999), where I thought that people were thinking of me the rest of the class period instead of moving on with the discussion and such.

After the class period, before everyone left, I debriefed everyone, including DeAcosta. One guy came up to me to tell me what his reaction was and he said it was “What? Really? You're going to call him that?”. Other people just admitted they thought it was amusing and slightly shocking, and Jen elaborated on her observations, saying that several people were putting heads together and whispering about my Alex bomb immediately after I said it.

Overall, there were very few, if any, consequences from breaking this social norm, and yet it was not an easy thing to do. Granted, it was easy in the fact that it was doable, but still, there was that hesitation and anxiety.

I was trying to think of the reason for this social norm to exist, and I realize that professors need some kind of power to control students in the classroom, they need to quiet everyone down once in a while, etc. But professors already have power, they make our grades. Does this norm exist to remind us of that, instead of when it is more salient like when papers are returned? Or perhaps it's some kind of reminiscent byproduct of the whole 'respect your elders' thing which I don't buy into anymore now that I'm not a child but which was bigger in our society back in the day.

It seems to me that at the university level, where professors know so much and are experts in their fields, have PhDs and everything, that this norm could be done away with. People will respect the knowledge, the expertise, right? But then I remember, there are professors who are unpopular, whose teaching techniques or expertise are questionable, and perhaps this norm exists for them? They can always appeal to their 'Dr. Something' status when students begin to gripe.

Who knows. All I know is, this social norm is very real and breaking it causes anxiety.

Duval, S., & Wicklund, R. A. (1972). A theory of objective self-awareness. New York: Academic Press.

Gilovich, T., Medvec, V.H., & Savitsky, K (1999). The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one's own actions and appearance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Kassin, S., Fein, S., & Markus, H.R. (2008). Social psychology. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Skowronski, J. J., & Carlston, D. E., (1989). Negativity and extremity biases in impression formation: A review of explanations. Psychology bulletin, 105, 131-142.